525,600 Minutes
At this time last year so much seemed uncertain. I would even go as far as to say “unlikely”. But here we are, with an almost-four-month-old baby in our family.
Like Taylor, Jameson asks to be held or worn all day. He also wakes up often throughout the night, needing my milk and reassurance that we are nearby to comfort him. As physically challenging as it has been and continues to be, I know from my experience with Taylor that invaluable gifts are hidden in these moments.
About a month ago, Jameson uttered his first laugh while I was singing and acting out a fingerplay on his body. A week later he laughed simply because he was amused by my silliness. Who knew a 3 month-old could already have a sense of humor?
While Jameson protests nearly any distance from our bodies, he does enjoy (for a few minutes at a time) his bath tub. He doesn’t actually bathe in it, but he likes reclining in it while we brush our teeth or take a shower.
What else am I wanting to remember about this time? Jameson’s numerous and very specific needs call on me to practice Presence. Many of my early months with Taylor are a blur because I expended so much energy trying to console her colicky self and wishing things would “improve”. I had not yet learned that resisting reality only results in suffering. I had yet to discover what it means to be fully present with What Is. With the understanding I have now, I can consciously choose to relate to these moments more mindfully or, at the very least, have the awareness to notice when I am slipping into an unconscious state of being.
Looking back as far as Jameson’s conception, I notice that a pattern has emerged. Over and over again, circumstances seemed treacherous and even impossible at times, yet this small but very strong spirit came through to grace our lives. He constantly asks me to surrender more fully and trust more deeply. This is only the beginning of what he has to share with us and the rest of the world.
